I train,
Because I can’t allow myself to be weak.
Familiar ground,
Helplessness swarming forth like angry hornets.
Chasing the heels of my role models.
Idols.
The strongest.
Smartest.
Most honorable.
Awareness of self,
Honed through years of inward thought.
Seeking serenity.
Emulating monks,
Of all walks of life.
Playing at false angels,
Yet standing in defiance of gods.
Gave up dreams of becoming a warlord,
To adopt the role of protector.
Hungering towards enlightenment,
Fill my soul with power,
So I may drink from my soul,
When I am starving.
A shitty monk,
By all regards!
What is the training of muscle,
Stamina,
Speed.
To a mortal husk such as this?
How many times can one search for Nirvana?
Cross the threshold of Shangri-La.
Walk the poppy fields of the Mediterranean.
Breathe cool summer winds,
Where I was born?
Yet.
But.
Still.
Thus.
Therefore.
The physical is but half an equation,
The brutal calculus in full momentum.
Algebraic reductions in search of “X.”
That letter was always me.
This hunger drives one to cunning,
Playing at Machiavelli!
The dead old fool.
Power games,
Ha!
NO.
Once upon a time,
There was a broken boy.
All lost and alone.
Once upon a time,
There were a billion souls.
All lost and alone.
I train,
Because to protect,
One must be strong.
In flesh and faith,
Wit.
Willpower.
Wisdom.
Growing chimera,
A hydra growing heads.
You must play at Typhon.
Stand before the great philosophers of old!
One must be willing to stand,
King of the monsters.
Nothing worse than you!
To spit in the face of monotheistic deities,
Should you stand for the small.
I train,
Because I must.
You will watch,
As they prey upon my sense of duty.
Peel me apart by my heartstrings.
That is why I train.
To be strong for those who are weak,
To play champion of the innocent.
A shitty monk,
In that I no longer play at perfections,
As if they were ever to exist!
Silly child,
Name of the game is progress.
Growth.
Evolution.
I don’t expect you to stand as my equal,
I’ve been training myself for decades,
Wobbling to and fro,
Growing here,
Weakening there.
Growing again.
As waves upon the shore.
Ocean caressing sands,
Grinding rocks to dust in perpetual motion.
Be as wind.
Everywhere.
Nowhere.
The meaning of life,
Never existed.
Yet I decided to build my own.
Would you partake of my garden?
Plucking wisdom as one might fruit?
Or do you seek martial prowess?
The knowledge to kill,
A dozen different ways.
Could you understand the power,
I’d be entrusting?
The morals?
I follow the footsteps of giants,
Grew to this colossus.
Time.
Space.
Education.
You may join me in my training.
I will hold your hand,
Protect you.
But remember,
I’m just a shitty monk,
Trying not to be weak.
Seeking strength enough to share.
I train.
I train.
I train.
I train.
