Awake.
Alone.
Anxious.
Watching my life crumble around me,
Trapped within my insomnia.
Haven’t craved death like this,
In a while.
Disgusted with my species,
From intolerance,
To selfishness,
To greed.
Everything from religion,
To finance,
Convincing me at times –
The majority of my species,
Is so incompetent,
Shortsighted,
Cruel,
Selfish,
That they’d be better off dead.
I’d join them,
Of course.
Apex Predators –
Shirking responsibility as stewards,
To pray to imaginary fairy tale men,
Living in the sky.
Oligarchs,
Treating their fellow Humans –
Like cattle.
They all disappoint me.
Before you sling shit,
Disappoint myself,
Just as well.
Intelligence & depression,
Being correlated,
Hardly surprises me.
Sometimes I wish I was stupid.
Naive.
Indoctrinated.
Like the middle of the bell curve.
Free of worries.
Caring naught for anything long term,
So sure of my place in Heaven.
Trapped awake in the dark,
Ranting silently to myself.
So angry & frustrated,
At majority rule.
As if Idiocracy is merely a joke,
Not a reflection of reality.
Don’t know shit.
But spoken through the lens,
Of Socrates.
Willful ignorance is built different.
Then again,
My religion –
Is Humanism,
Science,
The Empirical Method.
Yet The Paradox Of Tolerance,
Means that they can hate me,
For being different,
Be it queer or neurodiverse.
Yet their religion’s hatred is protected?
Why isn’t my religion,
Protected thus?
Why does merely existing,
Entail suffering for me?
For any of us?
My fantastical daydreams,
Feel silly,
Whilst I wait patiently for my guillotine.
Humanist Utopia?
Can’t even sleep!
Too broke.
Too riddled with anxiety.
Who gives a fuck about my records?
The hate crimes I’ve experienced,
Tell me that nobody fucking cares.
I’m alone.
So’re you.
Writing poems in the pitch black,
Amidst the darkness of late nights.
Cursed genetics.
I never wanted this.
Take it back.
I don’t want this existence.
Proof that their gods are fake.
No deity heralding good,
Would ever do this to their creation.
No hope.
No outs.
No future.
I’m fucking tired,
Of this shitty species,
Society,
Fragmented reality,
Devoid of truth, honesty, or transparency.
Haven’t been this close,
To my mistress Death,
In some time.
Beat up,
Chewed out,
Spit on.
So fucking tired of scraping out an existence.
Never getting ahead.
Doomed.
WHILST MOST ARE PROUD TO BE SHEEP.
WHILST MOST ARE PROUD TO BE SHEEP.
