Dreamlessness is refreshing.Waking up without memory,Of whatever my nightmares,Would have been.Not completely sure -But hope -For this dreamless sleep more often.My trauma haunts my subconscious,No matter how much control I have;In my waking life.Dream Warrior?Hah!Rather have real rest.
Can't go woke go broke if I'm already broke and stopped using woke authentically fifteen years ago in lieu of just saying I'm not a bigot.
Nah,I'll fight.For the young queers,Troubled punks,& for bastards just like me.Doomed from the start.Blood Cursed At Birth.Have no mother.Can I claim to've sprung miraculously,From my father's loins?Or will dumber fools,Not realize I just disowned her,For abusing & deadnaming me?Heh.
Happy Birthday To Me.Simple pleasures,Time with friends.Her Shadow.Their Strength.Neurodivergent people,Die before thirty at higher rates.Queer neurodivergents like me?Likely less.Every day past thirty,To me,Is just Bonus Time.Joke about "1700+ ADHD years -"Living Plus Dying;Kaio Ken.
My boundaries?Trampled again.Like stampedes of hooves,Smashing my cattle fences,Dashing all -Into a thousand muddy pieces.Best fucking liar I've ever known,Brother.But I'm smarter than you.Your demons haunt you still,Whilst mine are chained,Leashed in steel links,Braided to my forearm.
This elegant goodbye,A piece of soft mourning.We're trapped,Worlds apart.I'm the beast in the reflection.A monster you cannot let out.No matter the cost.'Ere my foul magicks seep,Back into the world.Blood curse boiling,Dark weavings churning.We must exist,At odds.
Perhaps,A lapse - in fact or fiction -Diction as a warmup,Dereliction of real duties.Beauty in that old hat,Told you I hate rhymes.Enshrined in mind -Youth.Proof of soothsaying.Hard years,Tears in mere leers.Part of why I have no fears.Lasting dispositions.
We exist.Two corpses in one.A dozen selves,Crammed into a single living space.Feelings can hardly matter -When we aren't even sure who we are.How many of us,Are already dead?Vestigial organs,Ancient identities.Are we antiques?Relics?Or reminders?
Crucify me.Take my organs for parts.Donate every past scrap -To life,Medicine,Science.Make dice of my bones,To hold my dark magic.Carve runes of warding across my skull.To lock in evil.Take my everything.Death is just another phase of existence,We exist in our art.
I promise many things.The trick?It's to promise what is already certain.Never tell a lie."Don't make a girl a promise,If you know you can't keep it."Longsight,Pattern recognition.Using data to soothsay,Making bets like prophecies.Certainties high enough,You'd stake your life on them.Given how...
STOP.Please.I understand the nightmares every night -Are a result of trauma.But my mnemonic trigger phrase mantra,Doesn't seem to work.So I suffer almost every single night.Last night,Fun celebration or party;Turning into cruelty.Robbed,Left to try and find my things.Even my clothes.
Kinda cackling -As I post poems from my poetry book,To my website. ARCHIVE Before the ten year gap,My style was completely different -Reeking of my Slam Poet Dog Days. YOUTH Perhaps it's good to be amused,At how different two people,Two selves, CAN BE Can Be. CAN BE
Never Forget.Finish your fights.Lax tempos,Ruin chances of reform.Goal is bloodless revolution -To free the masses from wage slavery.Is it any wonder why Oligarchies,Gerontocracies,Or the like,Fight us so hard in return?Control.Social Contract?Well & truly shattered like broken glass.
Just hurt for him.A Saint.Bending over backwards -Trying to give people opportunities,Preaching for the benefit of the doubt.Many times;They rake him,Hurt him.Stabbing their would-be saviour,In the heart,Or back.Even closest kin.Junk Yard Dog Blues.Needing to protect him,At all costs.
Drugs.Alcohol.I've seen most addictions,For the hungry flames they are.Hyperaware of how much I myself vape,Yet refusing to allow the fire,To spread out of control.Vice is sometimes an unquenchable need,& other times a choice,Or series of choices.Despise the constant lying,Most of all.
Fear?No.Rarely.Trauma plus anxiety disorder -Put stop to that.Orbital views,For decades.Gun to my forehead?I'd gesture to pull the trigger.My fight or flight response is broken;To the point I try to numb it out.Self preservation?What's that?Perhaps that's why we wanna martyr ourselves.
Dreaming people who hurt me.No matter how much control -Or lucidity -I master.Nightmares in staccato,Changing out of nowhere.Twisted churning of my mind.I never hurt them.No matter how hot my anger.Even when my rage is truly raging.Shackling myself even then,From gifting them oblivion.
Fight?I'll always fight.Told you many times:I'll always go down swinging.Be it street scrap,Or climate apocalypse.Fighting Entropy is kind of my thing,When I realized the impossibility of immortality.We don't get a chance to learn & grow;Forever.So best we can do,Is ensure it for them.
Aye,Dead Man.Sun Ablaze In Glory.No Summer Day Finer.Asexuals Like Me Laughing At Comparing Women,To Weather.Masses convinced it was romance -I see the misogyny of another metaphor.Was that the intent?Of the infinite metaphors -You choose sunshine?Changing contexts?Stay dead;Bard.
Dew Point Destinies.Planet so hot with greenhouse gas,Venus is havin' a look.After that point,When Humidity hits a hundred?You're fucked.Death Spell for Endotherms.Modified Mammary Glands?Exuding sweat,Doesn't work anymore.Air -So heavy with water,Means water can't evaporate.Ugly Death.