What else can I do?But hold my fist aloft -Pincushioned by arrows,Or slugs.But that doesn't matter.None of it does.only my nose pressed against the grindstoneAlready Peeling Bloody.Haggard old bastard.Buddha Belly Scarred,Stretched.White scars aplenty.But that doesn't matter.Never did.
Old Power.Kind politics can't imitate.Force of will.Presence of danger.Old Evils,Cultivated Amongst Worse Banal Evils.Devil you know.Shall we shake on it?Never read The Prince,Already learned that Machiavelli shit decades ago."Multiple Discovery.""Simultaneous Invention."Whatever.Fuck.
Month ago,Remained nobody.Today,Stand atop Shakespeare's carcass,Still nobody.Silly old cryptid;Making art in dead mediums,Nobody cares about.So:"Nobody."Writing & writing,As nobodies do -Infinite Creation Engines,Stapled to brain cages,In dark isolated rooms.Pitch Black Epiphanies.
Enough Doom For One Day.Still lack power, wealth, or influence,To fix the biggest problems of Humanity.So today I respect my reach:Clean my house,Bake some rosemary,& banana bread.Breathe deep of vapor -Contemplate life as always,Inevitably growing scope & scale,To orbitals.Dreaming Big.
Of course I have weaknesses.Some visible.Others not.Spent lifetimes learning -To ensure I covered as many of them,In as much armor plating,Or as many cursed seals,As I could muster.Strength is objective,Not subjective.Grip force, size, mental & physical power.Stuff that makes petty Warlords.
How many times?This exact thing,In this exact place?Smoking in the yacht club parking lot,Listening to the Friday night bands,At the bar a block north.Back at 15 or 16 -I'd just go to the liquor store in my work clothes.Black grease stained face & visi gear.Reeking of orange clean.Buy beer or...
Remember these boonies friday summer nights.Trapped in our middle of nowhere.Highway drive - hour north & south,To true civilization.Used to drive the highway late on school nights, blasting dumb aughts euro edm.The second CD of "In Your Honour,"For makeouts & sex in the back seat.The...
Stage Picture:Sitting on side of my pickup box,Perched on the plastic,Smoking a joint in my detested hometown.Truck parked -Yacht Club gravel parking lot.Can hear announcer,Cheers,Live band,At the bar a block down.Just me,My blunt,& crickets chirping.Golden Moments,Eh?Waste of my Eidetic Memory.
Coming to this town -Gives me uncomfortable feelings.Bougie bullshit,Craft beer,Nice food,Excess of condos.Don't hide forestry town roots.The life I lived,Called Gay & Retard constantly -As slurs of course.Hate crimed by the school system itself.Gossiped.Shit-talked.Kinda hate it here.
11:00pm To 1:28am:Insomnia strikes again,Fool I was -Latte at one in the afternoon.Yesterday,Technically.Damned my own potential,For extended grasping hands -STOP.Still.Silent.These boulders,Old mountains,All to move.Each failure of Our Will,Or Way,Ripples Outwards.Just like this.
Deny me my Humanity,No longer.I've performed legal rituals:Appropriating law as I need it -To discard my birth names.Dead names that haunt me still,As if afraid they might surface.Tradition,Myth,Or Legend,Is usually about Fae like me -Stealing your intangibles,Names,Memories,Worse.
People exert all sorts of pressure on me,Void.Hanging suspended,Flailing in space.Must consider all applications,As they stand.Rather…floatIn such situations,Ensuring approximate acceleration,Velocity,& vectors.Considered you thousands of times -Dearest Void.Allow me decades more.
Sleeping To Sounds Of Thunderstorms.Memories of Wind Valley Howlers -Winter Storms so sharp & biting,All was black ice -Wind howling -Banshees at our windows.Love thunder.Adored the frequent sound;Rain Curtains,At night.Marking my life like omens,Green skies,To literal sheets of water.
Coven Rules,Are Consensus.Circle Protocol Discussions -For long as it takes community,To compromise.Matriarch,Matron,No want of frivolous inefficiency,Or hierarchy.Role for all little witches,All places & types;Just an Old Lady -Gentle Support.Like my Baba,Great Grandmother was,Mine.
There can be no rest,For us wicked.When else would we plot?Soliloquy Poetry,In pitch black darkness.Red Light Monologues,Of Sordid Youth -As many possess.Reformed;As best I could from Evil,Fight for Humanist Utopia now.Impossible dreams.Penance.Let me use my dark pasts,As simple jests.
Fight Me, Void.This Specific Witching Hour;I'm Discontent.Mumbling Hexes & Murmuring Curses,Under breath.Radiating auras of discomfort -The Uncanny Valley,In Exponentials.Hair follicles spiking -Cold sweat.Fever.Horror Movie Hungers.Snatching at fabrics.Moist dissections of Reality.Old habit...
Been three for three -Spotting,Other undiagnosed neurodivergence.Love mapping similarities,Across pattern recognitions -Admiring those:(With as many comorbidities as myself.)Different -Genetic Lottery.Born deformed,Missing half-eartip…But savant shit been nice,Against the disabilities.
Desperation Days.Death hounding us as she always does.An incorrigible lover,Demanding 100% of our time,Forevermore.Cash'd help -But we remain starving artists,Bound to our morals, values, & principles,Eschewing Capitalism.Rotting teeth.Decaying bodies.Sans the pennies to fix it all..][
Hex Inversions Of Pattern Recognition:Little Witches,Shall we play at games of wits?I love the clever!Trying our best,See people,Not playthings,Like horrid evil kin.Data & Observation,Pattern Recognition Symphonies,Future Sight,Without A Single Drop Of Mana,Or Magic.The Hex Is A Facade.
Tonight's Midnight Black Weaving -Comes as risk,Much as reward.Read further?My mnemonic will spread,Dancing in the glossy gleam of thy eyes.Yet such Curses,Can also play at blessings.Curse Of Great Suffering,Sealed here in scrawled language:"Through Suffering,Comes Our Greatest Strength."