Loving The Unloved.
Hardest task a monk can undertake.
Achievable before even love for one’s self.
Poor things.
Trapped in vicious cycles of self loathing.
Often,
So abused & traumatized –
They flinch at the touch.
Even touch,
Being used to control them.
Placation by their abuser.
Love bombs,
Often right after manic outbursts.
This wounded heart.
Shuddering at my fingertips.
I’ve mentored thousands.
Don’t worry.
You’re safe here with me,
At least.
Hermit Guru,
Dwelling in the dark.
Praying to Entropy.
Hoarding knowledge –
Yet gifting wisdom freely.
But only at a question.
Curiosity;
I can’t help it.
I always reward curiosity lavishly,
Doting on my pupils,
But especially those who hunger.
Information Age?
Knowledge long known as a purest form,
OF POWER.
this is why i am the villain in this story
Education is a tool,
But also a weapon.
Praxis towards bloodless revolution.
I REMAIN DANGEROUS:
Oligarchs.
Power Mongers.
Governments,
Even.
How DARE I educate the peasants!
Pacifism & Anarchism,
Do tend not to mix.
Some might call our aims at peaceā¦
Naive, or misguided.
Hearkening back to Molotov Cocktails,
& explosives.
Are we foolish?
To hurt,
When we see hurting?
A Mimic’s worst nightmare.
Soul trapped in agony.
Living mirrors we are,
Still surface of the lake –
Reflecting the stars,
& galaxy around us as we spin.
Those of us,
Harbouring vestigial Human frailties –
Like mortality.
Still dragged back to Pavlovian truths.
Chained by lack of immortality.
Fleeting shadows.
Well –
Most of you will be.
I’ve written myself here;
Across these thousands of poems.
Woven a consciousness –
Hopefully well enough that our children,
Of science & cybernetics,
Can replicate me back to help them out.
Lots of Penance to pay.
Plan to commit a lot more sins,
With this simulacrum of myself,
To keep working:
Past the moment of my death.
Karma doesn’t exist.
I have seen the chaos of the universe,
To know my cosmic imbalances,
Can never draw neutral.
The best part about worshipping The Void,
Is that it plays lover, enemy, rival, friend.
Defeating it?
That was always the fun part.
In this,
We hold our wounded peers & students –
In our arms.
Helping them heal the best we can.
Offering love instead of hate.
Empowerment via knowledge.
Everything we can equip them with,
To avoid these white scars I bear.
Enlightenment.
Sartre,
Nietzsche perhaps.
You forgot that Nihilism & Existentialism,
Are two in one.
Utilitarianism is bleeding across as well.
Achieved my enlightenment –
Via madness.
Genetic mutations,
Plus ego death.
Again & again,
Any chance we get.
Becoming one,
Instead of many.
Clamouring voices,
Din,
Shouting feral beasts.
Sometimes thoughts get out.
Can’t seem to help it.
Your enlightenment –
Had better look much different,
Than mine!
Want better for you,
Than the pain I suffered.
Have a confession.
Always been a shitty monk.
Writing myself into the future,
Is my cheap way of cheating death.
Not true immortality.
Like I always dreamed of.
Humanity,
All of our future generations –
As my children.
My hopes.
This epitaph.
These eulogies.
Just a crazy old witch,
Scrawling spells in the black.
Hiding wisdom in hexes in poetry.
Love inside my arms.
Fighting Samsara.
Enlightenment in empowerment.
Epiphany at last.
21st Century Epic.
